This weekend was filled with highs and lows.
Saturday I sent out this tweet:
That feeling is hard to describe to someone who hasn’t struggled with their weight, or with their fitness goals. It’s so darn hard to gain momentum and when it happens-wow, just wow. It’s a euphoric feeling when all of those little decisions start falling into place and filling in the big picture. It’s like in the cartoons when a light bulb goes off over the characters head, suddenly you realize “I can do this! Wait, I AM doing this!”
I want to bottle that feeling up and dip my apples in it for breakfast, it’s that good.
On the same day, I had a low point. I worked a great event, one where I was surrounded by runners, one where usually I would feel in my element and at my best. But, for an out of character moment I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong. I was interacting with people who had seen me at my fittest, or people who I haven’t ever met and I imagined were thinking “Really?SHE is a runner?!”
I wanted to shout “THIS ISN’T WHO I AM” and “I promise, I’m working hard and I’m on track” and always- “There is so much more to me than this body”. That last one is one I want to tell others, but mainly it’s something I need to tell myself often. I feel trapped in my body even though the pounds are coming off. Short of avoiding work and social situations all together, there isn’t anything I can do about it. It took time for me to gain weight, and it will take time to take it off.
In my heart I am a fit, happy and confident woman. And soon, soon my body will reflect the same thing.
Say it. Do it.