I’ve been avoiding this. I’ve danced around it, posted sporadically, mentally distanced myself from this blog, and done just about everything I could keep from writing this post.
And then today, I realized I was doing myself a disservice by NOT writing it. So here it is:
I started blogging to share my story. So I shared, and I was uplifted each time someone reached out to me, telling me my story offered hope. But as much as I wanted to help others, I also started this blog for me. It kept me motivated and accountable. I was able to reflect on my life through the lense of a written post.
But somewhere along the way I wasn’t blogging for me or for you anymore. I was blogging to BLOG. I had insane page views, companies throwing free gear at me, and people wanting to advertise on my blog. And sure, I enjoy free stuff as much as the next person, but the giveaways and obligations became too frequent and too much.
I wanted to write for ME, not sell products for someone else. While my reviews were always honest, I felt like I was losing integrity. I don’t want to blog for BUSINESS. I don’t want to make money by shoving stuff down your throat. And I don’t want to be obligated to write if I don’t feel like it.
So I stepped away.
This past year was hard on a personal level, and I simply didn’t want to make it harder by playing the blogging game. So I started turning down products, ignored any email requesting ad space, and just generally stepped away from my blog. There has been a trickle of posts coming out, and a few that meant a lot to me, but overall the heart was gone out of this blog. I stopped thinking about writing, and started thinking about deleting this blog all together.
I got caught up in others expectations of how my blog SHOULD grow, and in turn just about killed it.
I am in no way knocking those of you that want to be, or are professional bloggers, its just simply not who I am at this point in my life. Why is it that everyone feels such a rush to turn their blog into more than just a place to write? When did blogging become a competition for popularity and a race to make money?
Honestly, the more I tried to force myself to BE a blogger, the more I became disgusted with blogging as a whole. There are so many things going on out there right now that make me sick, sites dedicated to ripping apart other bloggers, groups pressuring you to join,making you feel like you’re somehow not as good as them because you’re not interested in selling yourself. When did it become ok to look down on someone because they simply want to write and not profit from it?
What’s right for you isn’t right for me, and the opposite is true.
I’ve officially quit the blogging game, and am letting go of any pressure from outside sources, but I will continue to WRITE here. I look forward to being able to write for the sheer joy of writing. To be able to reflect and learn from life’s lessons through the power of the written word. And most of all, I look forward to getting back to being me.
Welcome back Tricia.